The Edgeventures of Coldsteel the Hedgeheg
by HalfJokingHalfSerious
Summary: In this hardcore fanfic starring Coldsteel the Hedgeheg, he must battle a team of goody-two-shoes hedgehogs led by an old rival, and this time, it's personnel! OC X OC, Imperator Ix X Omochao
1. Chapter 1: Consumed by Darkness

(AN: COLDSTEEL DOES NOT BELONG TO ME, HE BELONGS TO BLOOD-SKULL-BOI84, USED WITHOUT PERMISSION, BUT BLOOD-SKULL-BOI84 DOESN'T EXIST SO WHATEVS. EVERYONE ELSE WHO ISN'T A CANON CHARACTER BELONGS TO ME SO DONT STEEL)

Chapter 1: Consumed By Darkness

Darkness. I was used to darkness. Ever since that day, it had consumed me, like a veil around my soul that was really dark. But this was a different type of darkness. An advanced darkness. The type of advanced darkness that made it so I couldn't see shit.

In the distance, I saw what seemed to be a bright light. The light began to approach me, and as it did, I realized that it was actually a darkness so dark that it glowed, expelling all darkness weaker than itself. As the darkness came closer, it began to take a hedgehog shape. When it was only a few feet away, I realized who it was.

"Y-you're me!" I exclaimed.

" _ **Yes, Coldsteel,**_ " the darkness uttered darkly, " _ **I am you, from six years, six months, and six days in the future. However, I am no longer called Coldsteel; I have taken the title of Deathnox.**_ "

"How did I get this power?" I inquisitioned. "My darkness is strong, but I almost feel overwhelmed by yours."

" _ **I will tell you soon enough, my past self,**_ " Deathnox claimed ominously, " _ **but I am not here simply to tell you of good things to come, but rather, of a force that will come to bring an end to us.**_ "

"What?!" I expelled in shock. "Tell me what happens!"

" _ **In exactly six days, six hours, and six minutes,**_ " Deathnox began to prophecize, " _ **six heroes holding six Chaos Emeralds will appear in Westopolis. It is there that they will find the seventh Emerald, and, using Chaos Control, teleport you straight to Hell, as they did to me.**_ "

"Then how did you get so much power?" I quizzed.

" _ **When Satan tried to subjugate me, I killed him and took his power. Then, when Death tried to kill me, I killed him and took his power too. Thus, I became the embodiment of darkness and death. But I cannot kill anyone, or interact with the physical world at all. All I can do is bring the souls of the dead to Hell.**_ "

"That's horrible!" I shouted. "A life without killing… that would be a fate worse than death! But why did they do that to me?"

" _ **I did not find out,**_ " Deathnox stated. " _ **The only way to find out is to go to Westopolis and confront them before they get the Emerald!**_ "

"I will," I vowed, "I swear it!"

With that, the darkness faded, and I returned to where I was.

Six days, six hours, and five minutes later, in Westopolis, six hedgehogs walked through the streets. One was blue, and had two five foot long katanas strapped to his back. One was red, and had a long, pointed tail like a demon. One was green, and wore a dress made of leaves. One was cyan, and wore those spiral glasses from anime. One was white, and and had huge boobs. One was yellow, and floated instead of walking. And each one held a Chaos emerald of their color.

"I can't wait to see Coldsteel squirming in Hell," smirked the red one sadistically. "Serves him right for what he did."

"Indeed," incanted the blue one in a Japanese accent, "he is truly _warui_ (evil)."

"Absolutely ridonkulus," grinned the cyam one as he span around on one foot. "Melons!"

"What did you just say, shitlord?!" Yelled the white one, concealing her bosom. "Check your fucking privilege!"

"Please calm down," breathed the green one in a soft tone, "there is no need to fight."

"We're here," the yellow one interrupted.

The six found themselves in front of a jewelry store. It was here where they expected to find the last Chaos Emerald, proudly displayed in the front window like a golden statue at the top of a sandcastle. However, the window was broken, and the emerald was nowhere to be found!

"Looking for this?" mocked Coldsteel, who was standing on top of the building, clutching the purple Chaos emerald in his hand like a bone in the maw of a confused feline.

"You bastard!" raged the red one. "How did you know we were going to use the Emeralds against you!?"

"Lets just say," hinted Coldsteel, "a little birdie told me. A little birdie who was my future self, who sent me a vision telling me what you would do!" Coldsteel jumped down from the building, and when he hit the ground he also punched it like a Superman that liked Nine Inch Nails. Now that he was close to the hedgehogs, they looked familiar to him. "Hey, I know you guys!" he realized. "You were in the Sonic Military!"

"So you remember," emoted the yellow one. "I was expecting you lopped us in with the thousands of soldiers you killed in your memory."

"I'll admit," reminisced Coldsteel, "I don't really remember most of you, but there's no way I could forget you… Super-Brightlord."

The image of the glowing hedgehog was burned into his memory, like a brand on a cow who was incredibly jealous of it. While Coldsteel was the strongest in the Sonic Fighting Academy, Super-Brightlord was the strongest in the Sonic Military. He was so powerful that he was born in his Super form (which is why it's a part of his name) and with incredible psychic powers. He joined the Sonic Military at age five, because he was too young to enroll in the Academy. Even then, he surpassed everyone in power, and by the time of the Final Shadow Battle, he was stronger than the entire army. Coldsteel envied his power greatly while he was in the military.

"Allow me to jog your _atama_ (memory) then," spoke the blue one, drawing a katana and resting it on his shoulder. "I am _Doki-Doki-Break_ (Heartbreak), the strongest samurai in the world."

"I'm Beelzebub the Demonhog," growled the red one as he folded his arms. "I am the son of Lucifer himself, and revel in the suffering of the innocent."

"My name's Sandwich the Hedgehog!" exclaimed the cyan one, who put on a wizard hat. "I like riding cardboard boxes into chocolate waterfalls. Pineapples!"

"I'm Gynomania," alledged the white one as she puffed out her chest, "and the fact that us girls went last is absolutely sexist!"

"I am Flora Artemisia Monarch," professed the green one as she bowed, "and I just want the world to be a better place."

"We have united to make you pay for your crimes," verbalized Super-Brightlord. "In the name of the fallen soldiers of the Sonic Military, we will punish you!" (AN: that last part was said by everyone but i didn't know how to write that in lol!)

"Well," Coldsteel pronounced, "you know what? Fuck your dead soldiers, fuck your shitty battle cry, and fuck you. I've been waiting for the chance to kill you for years, and now that I have the power of darkness, I can finally do it! And now that I have a Chaos Emerald, I'm not going to waist that chance!"

Coldsteel outstretched his hand that held the Emerald as he absorbed it's power, like a malevolent rechargeable battery. When it was drained, he rose into the air until he was above where he was before he started rising. Curling into a ball (but not like Sonic does when he turns into an actual ball, here he's just bending his arms and legs inward), the air around him crackled with lightning made of darkness,

" _Tsuiyasu!_ (Shit!)" panicked Doki-Doki-Break. "We have to run!"

"Stay," commanded Super-Brightlord. "You have nothing to fear."

The darkness lightning surrounding Coldsteel was now striking everything around the hedgehogs, breaking windows and blowing up cars. Coldsteel himself was surrounded by an aura of darkness darker than the midnight sky on a new moon day being looked at by a blind person.

"Nothin personel, Stupid-Diaperlord," Coldsteel insulted, "but die! Chaos Darkness Blast Maelstorm!"

Coldsteel's darkness aura exploded, cunsuming everything in a 6.66 mile radius with destruction. When the dust settled (which was both because the explosion kicked up a bunch of dust and because it's a figure of speech for something ending), central Westopolis was nothing but a crater. Everyone caught in the blast, except for Coldsteel, of course, was killed.

...But that didn't actually happen!

Instead, Super-Brightlord captured the blast (and Coldsteel inside of it) in a ball using his Psychokinesis. (AN: this is because it's the power to control kinetic energy, which is just energy that moves, like an explosion)

"Have you forgotten about my powers, Oldsmell?" mocked Super-Brightlord. "I was hoping you would pose a threat, but it seems I was wrong. I'll let you live, but when we meet again, you had better pose a threat!"

With that, Super-Brightlord psychokinetically threw the ball with half of his might, flinging Colddsteel at hundreds of miles per second. Once it was halfway across the country, he reversed the kinetic entry of the explosion, sending it towards Coldsteel! Thankfully, while the blast part of the attack hurt him, the darkness part healed him for all of the damage. However, that didn't change the fact that he was hundreds of feet in the air, because Super-Brightlord threw him in a parbola!

"Damn…" declaimed Coldsteel as he fell to the earth, "...not...here…"

Then he hit the ground, and everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2: Darkness Rises Once More

Chapter 2: Darkness Rises Once More

" _ **Coldsteel...wake up…**_ "

Coldsteel heard the voice of his future self. His eyes opened, and he was once again surrounded by darkness, including the darkness of Deathnox.

" _ **Wake up Coldsteel…**_ " Deathnox demanded. " _ **It is not your time.**_ "

"Deathnox?" Coldsteel asked confused. "Is that you? Does this mean the future has not changed?"

" _ **No, my universe has been erazed,**_ " intoned Deathnox, " _ **But my darkness is so dark that it consumed the darkness of erazure and left me unharmed. But Super-Brightlord still wants to kill you, so you must wake up.**_ "

"What's the point?" moaned Coldsteel. "He's so much stronger than me. How can I reach his level of power?"

" _ **His power is indeed great,**_ " pronounced Deathnox, " _ **but I know a way to weaken him and even the metaphorical playing field.**_ "

"But he's always super!" complained Coldsteel. "Even if I weakened him, he would still be invincible!"

" _ **That is how you can weaken him,**_ " explained Deathnox, " _ **by turning him 'normal.'**_ "

"That's imposible!" yelled Coldsteel.

" _ **Wrong,**_ " corrected Deathnox. " _ **One man has managed to neggate a Super form: the one known as 'Eggman.'**_ "

"Eggman was killed by Shadow, remember?" reminded Coldsteel.

" _ **Wrong again,**_ " retorted Deathnox. " _ **I have seen all the souls in Hell, and not one of them was his. Meaning that he is still alive.**_ "

"If he's still alive," realized Coldsteel, "that means I can find him and make him make me a gadget that can unsuper Super-Brightlord!" Coldsteel wanted to thank his tempural duplicite, but he knew that wouldn't be very badass of him.

" _ **I can read your mind, you know,**_ " explained Deathnox. " _ **I except your thanks.**_ "

With that, Coldsteel woke up.

He found himself in a on a beach. The sun glared in his eyes like a flashlight in an eye test. Getting up, he saw palm trees and a large, resort-like building. There was a sign in the sand that said "EMERALD COAST." Also there was a girl with big boobies next to him.

"Thank goodness you're awake!" she bellowed. "I don't know what I'd do if you died in front of me!"

Taking his gaze away from her massive rack, Coldsteel got a better look at the girl. She was bright pink, with rainbow eyes and bright blue hilights in her hair-quill things, which reached down to just above her ass, which was as big as her tits. She wore a pistacheo green low cut dress with cherry red lines at the end of each part and sleeves that were wide at the end. She wore fishnet stockings and majenta high heels. She wore an orange bow in her hair and had two earrings (the girly kind) in each ear. She had yellow anime-style wings (you know, the ones with the spyrals) on her back, which came out of a hole in the back of her she wore a silver heart-shaped necklace (but it wasn't a locket because lockets can open and her necklace was flat, unlike her chest) that had "$5.99" engarved into it.

"Who the hell are you?" Coldsteel riddled to the voluptoous vyscountess.

"My name is Annabelle the Hookerhog," she unveiled, winking and bouncing her headlights as she did. "You want to buy my services?"

"You are a very sexy and slutty lady," Coldsteel returned, "but I can't have sex with you right now, because I need to show the world the true meaning of darkness."

"Suit yourself," Annabelle smirked as she trotted away in a sexy manner.

Now that he wasn't distracted by her massive melons, Coldsteel could focus on his vengeance. He knew that finding Eggman would be his greatest challenge yet, so he needed to prepare. He went into the building and then out the building; he was now in Station Square. The sun shone like a bright orb of light in the sky. The waves glistened as they pounded at the sand. Whimsical laughter and music came from the amusement park nearby. Cars drove in, out, and around the circle the dark hedgeheg stood in front of. Coldsteel was disgusted by all the sunshine and beauty and happiness he saw. It was the polar opposite of Westopolis's cloudyness and ruin and misery, which was just how he liked it.

His first order of business was to arm himself. _I hope they have a gun store in this Candyland,_ Coldsteel thought to himself.

He walked around the city, passing people smiling and cars playing pop music, and every time he did he nearly threw up. He needed to get what he needed and get out, ASAP. Eventually he came across a pathetically small gun shop at the edge of town, and went inside.

The whole place was so clean it sparkled. No one was in the shop but him and the cashier. And most jaringly, he could only see three guns in the store: an AK-47, a shotgun, and an RPG.

"Hello stranger!" cheered the cashier cheerfully. "How can I help you today?"

Coldsteel scoffed. "Is this all the guns you have?"

"Well, yes," the cashier confessed. "There isn't a lot of crime here, and there aren't any places to hunt, so-"

"It'll have to do then," interrupted Coldsteel. "I'll take all your guns and ammo."

"Well," the cashier noted, "first I'll have to see your lisense-"

"I don't think you understand," interrupted Coldsteel again. "You're going to give me everything you've got, no questions asked."

"Bu-but that's illegal!" blurted the cashier.

"Do I look like the person who cares about the law?" asked Coldsteel.

"No…" replied the cashier.

"Then, unless you want to know true suffering," threatened Coldsteel, "you'll give me the weapons and ammo."

"I-is that a threat?" inquizited the cashier.

"No," answered Coldsteel, "it's a promise."

"W-well I refuse!" screamed the cashier. "I will not arm a criminal like you!"

"Suit yourself," remarked Coldsteel coldly and steelily. (AN: get it?!) He snapped his fingers, and then a ringing filled the room. It was the cashier's cellphone. He picked it up and asked the caller what was the matter.

"Sir, this is the Station Square Police Department," explained the caller, "and I'm afraid to tell you that your husband has been murdered by his own shadow."

"Oh my god, you're gay?" laughed Coldsteel. "You're even more pathetic than I thought. Now give them to me."

The cashier was trembling with fear and true suffering. (AN: this is because Coldsteel told him he'd know true suffering a few sentences ago but in case you forgot) "Please, take whatever you want! I don't want to live anymore!"

"Good," Coldsteel smirked, "now you can suffer the darkness of a life without love or happiness." He grabbed all the weapons and ammo in the shop and walked out the door. "This is like taking candy from a baby, which is fine by me," he grinned.

Just as he was leaving the store, however, he heard a familiar voice. "Someone help me!" it screamed. It was Annabelle!

Normally, Coldsteel didn't save anyone who cried for help. If anything, he would kill the person, and then kill those who attacked them, just for fun. But he was feeling horny after seeing that gay guy in despair, and if he saved her she would owe him her body, so he decided to make an ekception. He ran in the direction of the voice until he saw her being forced into a police car by the police.

"Let go of her, police scum!" Coldsteel demanded.

"This lady was caught engaging in prostitution, which is illegal in this state," declared a policeman. "We refuse to let her go."

"Pssh…Nothin personell…kid…" Coldsteel remarked, "but if you won't let her go, I guess I'll have to let _you_ go…to Hell!" He pointed his RPG at the police car and fired it, which blew up the car. Everyone around and in it was blown apart and set on fire, except for Annabelle whose hooters absorbed the blast.

"Thank you for saving me!" thanked Annabelle. "I owe you my life…or should I say, my body." She bent over, further exposing her huge ta-tas.

"That's exactly what I had in mind," Coldsteel whickered. "From now until when I kill that goody-two-shoes hedgehog, you will be my sex slave."

"Fine by me," Annabelle orated. "I bet someone as tough as you has a huge dick."

"You know it, bitch," Coldsteel bragged. "But first, let's get down to business." He snapped his fingers again, and in a flash of darkness, a motorbike appeared. It was a Harley, but everything was black because it was made of darkness. There were spikes everywhere, except for the seat but that's obvious. In a slightly brighter shade of darkness on the side, it said "Into the Void," which was its name. (AN: it's also the name of a nine ich nails song)

Coldsteel got on the bike and clutched the handlebars. Annabelle got on behind him, her ginormous titties pressing against his back. Coldsteel clutched the gas, and they rode wawy from the wretchedly pleasant city.

"You know," Annabelle realized, "I never got your name."

"It's Coldsteel," Coldsteel admitted, "Coldsteel the Hedgeheg."


End file.
